Of Walking Away…

I was browsing through my Tumblr posts and saw this post of mine way back April 2016.

At one point in our lives,we need to walk away.. from work that’s stressing us to the extremes, from toxic relationships. We wanted to shun away. We just wanted to be free.

I’ve been in a relationship for seven years. We used to be neighbors. We lived in the same subdivision not until I reached 15 when my parents decided to transfer to another city. We have tried seeing each other everyday, to a long-distance love affair, to fights and sweet moments. For me it was an ideal relationship. I thought that he was the one..

Until both of us graduated from college and decided to stay in the same city. I thought things would get better. After 2 and a half years of being far away from each other, finally, the universe is with us. Both our jobs are in the same location. I though everything would be perfect. But I was wrong.

When we were younger, I pictured him to be the man I will be with for the rest of my life. He was perfect for me. He’s the whole package. Someone I never thought would come into my life.

I never questioned his fidelity. I was confident that there was no other woman. Even when we were far away, he made me feel that I’m the only one but I guess I was wrong…

It was the 15th of May. Because my boss gave me an errand to do, I went to the mall. I saw a very familiar figure, a very familiar one. The figure is with a woman, petite but very pretty. They were holding hands, very close. And suddenly tears fell down my face. I could not contain myself. I wanted to scream, go near them and create a scene but I just stopped myself and instead went on with what I had to do.

That evening, he fetched me at the office. The usual, a kiss on the cheek and he hugged me tight. I pretended I was ok I have to pretend that I’m alright but I could not stop myself from crying. He asked me what’s wrong. I stared at him. How could he do this to me? I gave him almost my whole life. I was never unfaithful to him but why did he do this to me? I was crying for a long time and I just asked him to drive me home. Without a word, he did. I went straight to my room and cried the whole time. I did not text nor call him and he as well.

The following morning, I did not report to work. He learned about it and went to my house. I am not ok, I am badly hurt, badly wounded. We went to a quiet place and talked about what I saw. He did not deny it. The woman’s name is Jessica. They’ve been together for two years already. I asked him where they met. He said they used to be childhood sweethearts. Damn I should have known about that. You know what I did? I broke up with him. Yes I love him more than anything else in this world but I love myself. I have to be kind to myself. I walked away without ever looking back. He called out my name but I did not mind looking at him. I deserve more than this. I never regret walking out that door..

Disclaimer: This has no relation to my current relationship status.

I’d love to hear from you.

xoxo

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